Bend Deez Nuts, Thoughts and Reflections from 'The Queen's Justice'
After literal years of waiting, Thrones fans finally got to see the two “heroes” of A Song of Ice and Fire interact. After six and a half seasons, the two biggest stars of the biggest show on television finally shared a scene. Just think about how crazy that is for a second. These guys literally had never even heard of each other until last week’s episode, which speaks to the greater GoT universe how how expansive it really is. ‘The Queen’s Justice’ was a hell of an episode, the dialogue was great through out and it really pushed the plot forward while setting the table for the big things to come. Let’s take it from the top.
Bend Deez Nuts
What an amazing sequence. Tyrion and Jon meeting again was awesome, and their banter throughout the episode was quality stuff, but the real meeting took place in the throne room of Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, titles titles titles… Can we talk about Davos being the hypeman of the century though? Sure, it started off a little rocky, but when Dany came with the bars of all that she’s allegedly been through, Davos came through spitting fire. He almost let it slip that Jon died and came back to life, but I’m sure she’ll learn about that when Jon wants her too. A lot of people wondered why Jon didn’t want Davos saying anything about that, which is a good question. I think it has more to do with Jon’s personality and demeanor than anything. Jon’s not one to make a long speech about the things he’s done, he doesn’t even like it when others make those speeches on his behalf. He’s a humble guy, whereas if it was Euron who was resurrected, it would be the first thing out of his mouth in every scene. Anyway, Dany came off and exceedingly arrogant in her initial scene with Jon, and it may come back to bite her ass because she may need Jon more than she thinks. Especially considering the aftermath of the events of the episode. Things seem to be looking up for their relationship though, Jon is gonna get his dragon glass and I maybe sense a little chemistry between the two. Stay tuned.
Other cool things from our time in Dragonstone
Dany asked forgiveness for the treacheries committed by her father, the Mad King. The Mad King burned Rickard Stark (Jon’s Grandfather) alive in his armor and made Brandon Stark (Jon’s Uncle) choke himself to death by tying a noose around his neck and placing his sword just inches away from his fingertips. He died reaching for his sword. These brutal acts, along with the “kidnapping” of Lyanna Stark (which Rickard and Brandon were in King’s Landing to protest), triggered Robert’s Rebellion. It was nice to see Dany apologize using words that Jon spoke himself in the season premiere regarding “sins of the father.”
Varys gets punked by another Red Woman. Every time Varys sees a Red Woman he gets all smug and every time he gets shut right the hell up and left looking like he just saw a ghost. Smh.
SMH of the week goes to Theon Greyjoy’s lying ass.
Euron Greyjoy, Westeros’ LaVar Ball
This guy just keeps getting better and better. He brings Cersei the gift of justice, receives a soft verbal commitment from the Queen regarding their marriage, and asks Jamie how Cersei prefers to get banged on. What a guy. This guy could fit in seamlessly in a place like Gotham City and be just as awesome. If you weren’t all aboard the Euron Express after last episode, you’ve gotta be after this one.
Cersei the Savage
What a terrible way for Ellaria and Tyene to die. Sure 90% of GoT fans hated them and their whole plot arc, but that’s really just a terrible way to go for both of them. It makes sense though, Ellaria didn’t have to kill Myrcella, that wasn’t really cool. What goes around comes around, man. I’m just glad we didn’t get any Ser Gregor action, nobody needed to see a repeat of The Mountain and The Viper. And what better to get you in the freakin’ mood than torture right? Jamie just wants to come home and take his hand off after a long day of standing up and Cersei comes home thirsty as F and blows the living hell out of him. Twincest byke.
We get a quick glimpse of Sansa in command at Winterfell and she seems to be doing pretty well. Gotta make sure we get some leather on those breastplates, man. She has a conversation with Littlefinger in which he basically tells her to be as paranoid as possible and nothing will surprise you. Okay, Pete. Bran pulls up and looks about as indifferent as you can be about seeing your sister for the first time in 6 years. We soon find out that Bran has turned into the Westerosi Jaden Smith. Seriously, his demeanor is more “I’ve seen some shit, man.” Than anyone on the show (even Jon), and it makes sense but of all the events to reminisce on to prove that you’ve actually seen everything, you choose Sansa and Ramsay’s wedding night? Smh Bran. He does have a huge role to play in the war to come though, I’m interested to see if he outs Littlefinger for his role in Ned’s betrayal in the next episode.
The Handshake Heard ‘round the World
What a beautiful moment, man. Jorah is cured and Sam is on his way to writing best-selling fantasy series and moving to San Jose. I can’t lie, when Sam first put his hand out for the shake, I was like “wyd fam?”, but when Jorah went for the “I appreciate you” second hand clasp, I teared up a little bit. I don’t even like Jorah, but shit man… Great stuff here.
ALL HAIL THE QUEEN OF THORNS! Okay, Highgarden got sacked and #TeamDany lost a key ally. Sure, Olenna drank poison at the behest of the Kingslayer. so what? Olenna wins anyway because she dropped a freakin’ BOMB on Jamie’s ass with her last breaths. I had been waiting on Olenna to reveal that she’s the one who had Joffrey killed, but there was no better time to do it than right then. S/O to Diana Rigg, a hell of an actress, you will be sorely missed on the show and this was probably her best scene ever. RIP Queen of Thorns, gone but never forgotten.
Westerosi Power Rankings
This is something new I'm gonna do. Every week, I'm gonna rank the major players in the Westeros based on how I think they're doing their jobs. Might include a brief explanation, might not.
1. Cersei Lannister - Undefeated in battle so far and murking her enemies in cruel ways.
2. Euron Greyjoy - Biggest badass in Westeros at the moment.
3. Jamie Lannister - One hand, one victory. Also got blown to smithereens.
4. Samwell Tarly - One step closer to Maesterland.
5. Jon Snow - He survived going south.
6. Sansa Stark - Interim Head Coach of the North doing a fine job. Looking lovely as usual.
7. Bran Stark - He's seen some shit, man.
8. Daenerys Targaryen - Queen of the Ashes doesn't sound so bad now, huh?
9. Tyrion Lannister - Went to battle back to back, mane we 0-2.
10. Theon Greyjoy - SMH
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