Game of Thrones S8E2 RECAP 'A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms'
Ladies and gentlemen, we just witnessed a Hall of Fame episode of Game of Thrones. ‘A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms’ was a masterpiece in every sense of the word. The dialogue was superb, the interactions between the mass of characters posted at Winterfell were all perfectly scripted and acted as kind of a farewell or a sendoff to so many of the characters we’ve grown to love over the years (or weeks for the bingers). If you’re watching live, cherish this shit, seriously. This may be the last time for a while where we all get to share this same feeling of dread and anticipation in between episodes of an iconic television show. Soak up as much content as you can, take it all in, fully submerge yourself in the monoculture because it’s truly special and may not happen again. There were so many great moments in this episode. It made you laugh, it made you cry, it made you cheer, it scared the hell out of you, and it made some of you weirdos uncomfortable. It was truly a class episode of one of the all-time great TV shows, so let’s talk about it.
PS: Th new season of Big Little Lies got Meryl Streep? Lock me up.
Jaime Lannister vs. The People of Winterfell
We start in the Great Hall at Winterfell where Ser Jaime is standing trial. Dany starts off with a monologue remembering the good times when her brother, whom she watched die in front of her without intervening, used to talk about all the things they would do to the man who killed their evil, psychopathic, murderous father. Okay then. Jaime stands by all of his past deeds, but Bran steals the show here with the “the things we do for love” drop. IYKYK. I figured it would either be Bran or Brienne to vouch for the less-controversial side of Jaime’s resume, but I’m glad it was Brienne because it really set up the rest of their interactions for the remainder of the episode. Jaime tells everyone that Cersei never intended to ride North and has 20,000 fresh troops at her disposal via The Golden Company. It’s a tough look for Tyrion and one that maybe should’ve lost him his job on the spot. He’s been failing for a while now, but I think that’ll turn around here soon. More on this later.
It Gets Hot at the Forge
So Gendry’s out here doing his smith thing in a revealing low-cut top and we see Arya just standing in the corner straight lusting over this man. The attraction couldn’t be any more obvious. Arya’s horny levels are out of control and it's great. She asks Gendry about the weapon she requested and we get out first “Chekhov’s It’s Safe in the Crypts” mention of the episode. MUCH more on this later. Arya gives a little demonstration of her dagger-throwing skills and Gendry is in HEAT. As was I. I would die for this woman.
“How do you know there’ll be an afterward”
Lannister Reunion Tour
The Lannister Bros. are back and better than ever. It was good to see these two just chatting it up like the old days. There’s some well-written banter and a callback to Tyrion’s preferred way of dying back in Season 1. I feel like they’re asking “is Dany really different” a lot and to the show’s credit, it doesn’t feel forced to me. Most of the times when these questions are posed they seem legitimate. I know #DanyHive hates to see it, but she’s been a flawed leader throughout the whole show and she may be getting exposed just a little. While Jaime and Tyrion are talking, T drops some truth to Jaime about Cersei that’s in contention for Line of the Episode. “She never fooled you. You always knew exactly what she was. And you loved her anyway.” WHEW. The truth hurts man. To all my young kings out there dealing with toxic women, just let her go. Jaime then goes to find Brienne and after an initially awkward conversation, he volunteers to fight under her command on the Left Flank in the Battle of Winterfell. Just a beautiful moment between these two that would’ve been enough in any other episode, but it only got better. Also, shouts to Pod. We see you.
We enter Dany’s chambers and Jorah comes to talk to her. Surprisingly but unsurprisingly, he vouches for Tyrion as her Hand. I think this vote of confidence signals a change of fortune for our favorite little person and he’ll bust out of this slump he’s been in here shortly. It’s also implied that Jorah tells Dany that she needs to go and talk to Sansa (fine as HELL in the Janet Jackson fit), which she does with mixed results. The conversation seems to be going smoothly until Sansa poses yet ano
ther legitimate question. If Dany takes the Iron Throne, what happens to the North? When Yara and Theon sailed to Mereen to enlist Dany’s help in taking back the Iron Islands, they pledged to fight for Dany to take the throne as long as they were granted a form of independence. Dany agreed to these terms under the conditions that the Ironborn stop reaving and raping their way around the Westerosi coasts. In what may very well have been his last time giving solid advice, Tyrion warned her that this agreement could create a sort of slippery slope. Other kingdoms would be inclined to ask for their independence as well and Dany said let them ask… Well, we’re asking. Also, the Jon Snow short jokes gotta stop man smh.
Defender of the Crypts
Chef Boyardavos is dishing out some bowls of soup to the Northern locals when a little girl who is clearly supposed to be a Shireen doppelgänger comes up and says she wants to fight. HEY, EVERYONE, HAVE YOU HEARD THAT THE CRYPTS ARE THE SAFEST PLACE TO BE? Anyway, it’s a sweet scene with the two characters that Shireen had the most impact on trying to protect a little girl that reminds them of her. Well done.
The Boys are Back
Tormund, Berric, and Edd arrive at Winterfell from the Last Hearth and a funny scene turns ominous when Tormund tell Jon that the Army of the Dead will be here by the morning. Is the big woman still here?
The War Room
Okay, so the plan is to go after the Night King and hope the rest of the dead fall with him. Got it. Bran thinks the Night King will come for him so he volunteers to wait for him in the Godswood. BUT WAIT BRAN HAVEN'T YOU HEARD THAT THE CRYPTS ARE THE SAFEST PLACE TO BE? Theon volunteers to protect Bran with the Ironborn and gains a modicum of respect back from me in the process. Don’t sleep on Theon’s fighting ability either. The Ironborn are skilled archers and Theon doesn’t really have anything left to lose. He’ll die defending Bran or making a sacrifice that only he can make. Just don’t run off again. In other news, we finally know what the Night King wants. An endless night, He wants to destroy the world as we know it and that starts with erasing the memory of anything previous to his reign of terror, aka the Three-Eyed Raven. Dany gives Tyrion a vote of confidence with a backhanded compliment if I’ve ever heard one. We don’t need you on the battlefield, son. Go hang out in the crypt with all the women and children WHERE IT’S SAFE. After the room clears, Tyrion sits down with Bran and asks him to tell him the long story of his life. I think this scene has to pay off somehow. With the recent votes of confidence Tyrion has gotten, picking Bran’s brain is going to allow him to figure something out that could change the tide of the battle or the war as a whole. We’re counting on you buddy.
Welcome to Winterfell, Mississippi
Man the North racist as hell wtf going on? Anyway. If you want to ensure your survival in an upcoming battle, never promise ANYONE ANYTHING about what y’all are going to do afterward. You’re going to take her back to the beach Greyworm? YeaAIGHT. Rest in peace, king.
IS THAT GHOST’S MUSIC I HEAR???
GHOST BYKE! This was a beautiful scene with our remaining Night’s Watch veterans. It was funny, sweet, well-written, and emotional. I’m not ready to say goodbye to these guys. “Last one left burn the rest of us.” </3
OH BUT DON’T WORRY ABOUT GILLY AND BABY SAM BECAUSE THEY’LL BE SAFE DOWN IN THE CRYPT!!! (that’s 4 if you’re counting).
“I wish father was here.” is a hell of a way to start a scene with your brother, Tyrion. He might just be back. When I saw the E2 photos with Tyrion holding a wine glass for the first time in a while I knew he would get his mojo back and I seem to have been right once again. “Here’s to the perils of self-betterment.” What a great cast of characters for this scene. The only person I was missing was Varys, but these scenes by the fire were just incredible. Tormund was great. Who knew giant’s milk was the key to all this?
Arya and the Hound: Reloaded
America’s favorite buddy comedy is back for one last ride. “I fought for you didn’t I?” That one messed me up, man I can’t cap. The Hound is one of my favorite characters, and if this is goodbye, it’s been one hell of a run big guy.
THE SEX HEARD ROUND THE WORLD
ARYA YOU F*CKING QUEEN. This was incredible. Arya is a woman who thinks she may die in a few hours. She wants to have sex before that happens. What’s wrong with that? I’ll tell you what’s wrong. NOTHING. Not to mention she goes about it in the most Arya way possible. She’s the GOAT and more women should be this forward w/ their consensual sexual advances in my opinion. Nobody cared when Tommen’s young ass was getting that thang put on him by Margaery, or when Pod the squire boy gave 3 world-renowned prostitutes the meat. Why is it a problem now? I’m glad Thrones finally let Arya be a young woman. This also will do wonders for Maisie Williams’ career. She’s a phenomenal (22-year-old) actress and deserves to be taken seriously as more than just a cute little girl. I stan America’s Sweetheart turned Freak of the Week forever. Not to mention she knocked my mans Gendry right on out. Oh right, and the weapon looks cool too. Needle won’t do shit against wights that don’t bleed. She needed something with more weight and reach to it. Maisie hml.
SER BRIENNE OF F*CKING TARTH
This is an all-time Game of Thrones scene. Wow. Just a perfect sendoff for a beautiful character. Yes, it almost guarantees Brienne’s death seeing as her character her arc is over and done but wow, if it happens, it was all worth it. One time for Tormund with the “Fuck tradition.” A true feminist icon. Brienne was capping hard as hell with that, “I don’t even want to be a knight” talk. LMAO ok, Brienne. It’s cool we’re all friends here. And that smile at the end? Gwen Christie, you’re a star. Thank you.
Jorah and the Little Bear
HEY LYANNA MORMONT IDK IF YOU HEARD BUT YOU SHOULD REALLY GO DOWN TO THE CRYPT WHERE IT’S GOING TO BE SO INCREDIBLY SAFE lmao that’s 5. Lady Mormont you got my respect but if you don’t get your little ass in the crypt lmao whether it’s safe or not you’re a liability dear. The Heartsbane scene was touching. It was nice to see Jorah get redemption in the form of Valyrian steel after squandering his right to his own house’s ancestral blade. I think Jorah falls and Sam picks it up and catches a few bodies with it. Perhaps accidentally.
So this how he satisfied all them freaks in the brothel. You’ve got a nice voice bud. Book readers will recognize the first lines of “Jenny’s Song” from Storm of Swords. Does the song have any significance? Read up about it here if you want. All in all, this was a beautiful montage. Just incredible cinematography showing our heroes awaiting the dawn.
Who let Dany in the Crypt??
Finally, the big reveal. Jon tells the story of Rhaegar and Lyanna like he’s always known it and Dany’s like oh that’s why you rode that dragon so easily. I don’t think there’s much to be afraid of here conflict-wise. Jon seems to be thinking about pursuing his claim, but I don’t think he will. Plus they could always get married. I think Dany is the wildcard here but we knew that.
Episode MVP - Jaime F*ckin Lannister
Who’s Gonna Die in Episode 3
Greyworm - You did this to yourself, man.
Ser Brienne of Tarth - It’s been real. It’s been fun. You will be missed.
Ser Berric Dondarrion - Thoros can’t save you now.
Theon Greyjoy - It’s time. You’ve got people back on your side. Go down swinging.
Lyanna Mormont - Tough look.
Who’s Not Gonna Die in Episode 3
Ser Jaime Lannister - The gods aren’t done with you just yet. Neither is Bronn.
Tyrion Lannister - See Ser Jaime Lannister
Arya Stark - I’ll burn this bitch to the ground.
Let’s Talk About the Crypts
Okay so clearly the show made a huge point of overtly saying that the crypts were safe FIVE TIMES in this episode. Chekhov’s Safe Crypts are a thing. Something dangerous is down there. Could it be the hundreds of dead bodies down there possibly being reanimated by the Night King? Could it be The Great Other or a damn dragon? Who knows. All I know is that the crypts are NOT as safe as we’re being led to believe. No way.
For all you bitches who’ve been whining about there not being enough action, you’re about to get it in spades. The longest battle sequence in television or MOVIE history is soon to be upon us. Do you see how many White Walkers there are? Craster bragged about having 99 sons in Season 2 and we might just see all them bitches in White Walker form. I’m not even close to being ready and I will be taking a personal day on the Monday after episode 3 airs. Really though man, enjoy this last bit of monoculture we have left, you’re going to miss it when it’s over.
Once again, thanks for reading. I’ll be back next week. If there is a next week.